Sunday, April 27, 2008

Go ahead, Call my bluff

It's Works for me Wednesday again!

Parenting is NOT easy, but if you are a parent you already know that. I'm certainly not a parenting expert. I mess up all the time. However, I love my kids with all my heart as I'm sure you do. I try my best and sometimes it works. So, from time to time in my blog I will share failures as well as success stories.

Today I have a success tip for you. It's called Follow Through !! Kids learn right away how to push your buttons and manipulate you. I have found that consistency is one of the only things that works with kids. It takes a lot of work and effort in the beginning, but saves you so much in the end. For example: Tonight I decided it would be really fun to bake and frost sugar cookies with my 5 and 4 year olds. We were having a great time, pouring mixing etc. When I took the first batch out of the oven I put them on a cooling rack. I instructed my children (always making them look at me so I know they are listening which prevents excuses later) that if they touched the cookies at all they would not get to finish frosting them and they would not get to eat any tonight. I informed them...that was their warning and there would be no extra chances. My kids know that if I say it, I mean it. But wouldn't you know, my 5 yo daughter still had to test me. It was a simple act (she touched one of the cookies to see if it was cooled down), but a disobedient one just the same. (we give them rules for a reason...she could have been burned) It made me so sad. I was really looking forward to frosting the cookies with both of them. I wanted so badly to say "I'll give you one more chance", but I knew if I did, she would continue to call my bluff and not feel obligated to obey. So, after making her own up to her bad choice and own responsibility for her consequence, I asked her to leave the table.

It is so hard to be a follow through parent. One day though, when the choices are more important than cookies (drugs, alcohol, sex) my children will be well practiced on the reality of life and it's consequences. It's so important to train them young to make responsible decisions!

I hope maybe this will challenge you to be a follow through parent in your home. Give it a try. If your kids don't listen. You will find that once given enough time to see your consistency, your kids will know you mean what you say and will have to think harder before they make decisions. You will see a definite increase in good choices!

If you do give it a try, let me know how it works out for you.

2 comments:

MOMMY said...

Great tip!!!!
When I was in college I was a preschool teacher and found it so easy to set clear consequences and follow through. As a parent I had trouble with this though-strange how that works!
Once the kids got older I realized that I NEEDED to be consistant. It truly makes all of the difference in the world. There have been many no cookie nights in our house! LOL

BTW, thanks for checking out my blog!
Aimee
http://journalofamomma.blogspot.com

Marni's Organized Mess said...

Consistency is one of the biggest keys to a successful parent I believe.

Thanks for bookmarking me. I had to "hide" my page for a day or two though, so click through my profile to find it. Smooches. :)