Weird things you might want to know about me...

This is not a meme! I do not participate in them. It's just me, keepin' it rell!

*I do not eat condiments! Not even ketchup! I'm pretty sick right now just thinking about them. They look, taste and smell disgusting. While I'm at it. Pickles! Those nasty green things floating in a jar of juice. I cannot even stand the smell of pickles. I will not kiss my husband if he has eaten pickles and when my kids were little, if they ate them, he had to clean them up.



*While we're on the topic, I have a phobia of touching the items on the table when we eat out. You know...the salt shaker, ketchup, napkin holders menus, etc. It's so disgusting. I hold them with napkins if I must touch them. Hundreds of people touch those things every day and the best that ever happens is they get wiped with a rag pulled from dirty soap water. I totally flip out if my kids touch them. I don't recommend it!





*I always put my left shoe on first. I did not realize this until my husband pointed it out after we were married. I seriously can't put my right on first or I feel off balance. I told you...WEIRD!









*I cannot do the dishes without thick, yellow latex gloves. It's not the hot water. It's the disgusting water-bloated, soggy food particles that are floating on the dishes, because certain people just stick there dishes right in the sink without scraping and rinsing. Ahhhh! If it touches me, I vomit. End of story.







Ok. That's enough weirdness for now. I'm sure I'll think of more weird things some other time and I'll make a "more weird things" post. Until then...

Heather

Secret Vengeance

Do toy makers have a grudge against parents? I think the answer is simple to see when you open a new cabbage patch doll for your two year old. Just to open the box alone, you have to slice through 6 sections of super duty, won't break no matter how hard you pull it tape. Once opened (after a few finger slices) you must pull and squeeze at the proper ratio to remove the inner package from the outer package. At this point your thinking "Almost there", but you are mistaken! Not only do you have to untwist all the twist ties, but you have to remove the same super duty tape from the twist ties first. After twisting, twisting and more twisting, you can now pull th doll free...OH NO...there's more tape! You fight your way through the tape only to find you forgot to snip 8 sections of thread (that are super thin, yet somehow indestructible) that are stitched to the box. Once finished, you wipe your brow and breathe in a paper bag for a minute or so. You hand the doll over to your child who joyfully receives it. That smile on her face makes it all worth it...then five minutes later, she throws it down and it's history.

At this point, you MUST remember! You made it...you are a survivor, a victor! Your hands may be sore and covered in band aids, but You conquered the box! You will live to see yet another birthday in which you can test your skills by hacking through the ever increasingly difficult toy packaging!

I laughed so hard I cried!

I watched this video at A Day in the Life of a MaMa.

Markers and Crayons Have Babies!

I have come to the conclusion that markers and crayons are asexual. You know that you can scour the entire house top to bottom. Take every crayon and marker, throw them in the trash, take directly to the dumpster and the next day you find your two year old has found a marker and has colored your couch, walls, herself. I'm telling you...these things reproduce. Anyone who has children knows this is fact. It's probably some secret government conspiracy like Area 51 or something. Join me on my mission to wipe out this disastrous race of Art products! Ok...well, I guess the kids need crayons, but the markers MUST go!

Hoping this post finds you Marker free!

Heather