Secret Vengeance

Do toy makers have a grudge against parents? I think the answer is simple to see when you open a new cabbage patch doll for your two year old. Just to open the box alone, you have to slice through 6 sections of super duty, won't break no matter how hard you pull it tape. Once opened (after a few finger slices) you must pull and squeeze at the proper ratio to remove the inner package from the outer package. At this point your thinking "Almost there", but you are mistaken! Not only do you have to untwist all the twist ties, but you have to remove the same super duty tape from the twist ties first. After twisting, twisting and more twisting, you can now pull th doll free...OH NO...there's more tape! You fight your way through the tape only to find you forgot to snip 8 sections of thread (that are super thin, yet somehow indestructible) that are stitched to the box. Once finished, you wipe your brow and breathe in a paper bag for a minute or so. You hand the doll over to your child who joyfully receives it. That smile on her face makes it all worth it...then five minutes later, she throws it down and it's history.

At this point, you MUST remember! You made it...you are a survivor, a victor! Your hands may be sore and covered in band aids, but You conquered the box! You will live to see yet another birthday in which you can test your skills by hacking through the ever increasingly difficult toy packaging!